Accepting Responsibility

            After describing Joseph’s descent to Egypt and his sale as a slave, the Torah devotes an entire chapter to the events of Judah’s life, including the matter of his daughter-in-law Tamar. [Genesis 38:11-30]

            Rabbi Amnon Bazak presents an insightful analysis, which connects the events of this chapter to Judah’s suggestion to his brothers that rather than allowing Joseph to die in the pit into which they had thrown him, they sell him to the passing Ishmaelites. [37:26-27] In order to avoid having to deal with the moral issue of executing his brother, Judah preferred selling him into slavery, a crime whose punishment is death. [Deuteronomy 24:7] In essence, Judah tried to avoid accepting responsibility for his actions. (From this perspective, it matters not whether the brothers truly believed that Joseph deserved execution, as some Midrashim suggest, or not.)

            The failure to accept responsibility forced the brothers to deceive their father Jacob into believing Joseph has been killed:

They sent the long colorful coat, and it was brought to their father. 'We found this,' explained [the brothers when they returned]. 'Try to identify it (haker na). Is it your son's coat or not?'            Genesis 37:32

            Following the deaths of Judah’s two sons, rather than realizing that the fault lies with them (and perhaps with his own failure to properly educate his sons), Judah placesdthe blame on his daughter-in-law Tamar. In a continued attempt to avoid accepting responsibility, Judah deceived Tamar, asking her to wait until his next son is old enough to marry her, while apparently having no intention of  going through with the marriage. [38:11]

            Tamar, on the other hand, is willing to be put to death rather than embarrass Judah. When Tamar sent the message to Judah:

When she was being taken out, she sent (the security) to her father-in-law with the message: 'I am pregnant by the man who is the owner of these articles, (When Judah came to her,) she said, 'If you would identify  (haker na) who is the owner of this seal, this wrap, and this satff.                  38:25

Rather than accusing him, Tamar allowed Judah the choice of whether or not to accept responsibility.

            It is not by chance that the Torah phrases Tamar’s request in the same words used by the brothers to mislead Jacob.  By the common use of the same words, the Torah hints that the two matters are indeed related. The use of the very same words he and his brothers employed to deceive their father forced Judah to introspect, and ultimately to reach the conclusion that he must accept responsibility for his behavior. With his declaration “She is more righteous than I,” [38:26] in response to Tamar’s challenge, Judah acknowledged his responsibility at the cost of public embarrassment.

            The greatness of Judah is in applying the lesson he learned from Tamar. When the brothers descended to Egypt, it was Judah who took responsibility for his brothers, as we read in the following parashot [43:9; 44:18].

            The lessons of chapter 38 are the need to accept personal responsibility and the power of repentance to rectify wrongdoings. These lessons are implied in Rabbi Akiva’s comment:

Why did Judah merit monarchy? Because he admitted that Tamar was right.                                        Tosefta Berachot 4:18