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… and she (Rachel) said to Jacob:
“Give me children, or else I die.”
And Jacob’s anger was kindled
against Rachel, and he said: “Am I in God’s stead, Who has withheld from you
the fruit of the womb?” Genesis 30:1-2
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Jacob’s
reaction to his beloved wife is surprising, to say the least. One would expect
Jacob to relate with compassion, understanding and empathy when his favored
wife informs him of what is most lacking in her life.
Our
classical commentators have attempted to explain Jacob’s behavior, at least
since the first century C.E. Onkelos, who rarely strays from a direct
translation of the verse into Aramaic, translates Jacob’s angry words:
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Why do you make this request of
me, you should ask God, Who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb.
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That
is, in addressing the wish “give me children”, Rachel apparently ignores the
fact that it is God’s purview, not Jacob’s, to grant children.
Nonetheless,
we would expect Jacob to respond in a gentle and compassionate manner.
The
comment of Rav Ovadya Sforno [c. 1475 - 1550] perhaps makes Jacob’s anger a bit
less drastic:
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Jacob’s anger reflected his zeal
for his Master, and he did not pay attention to his love of Rachel.
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That
is, Jacob’s angered response demonstrates that as deeply as he loves Rachel, he
loves God even more.
Aruch
haShulḥan [Oraḥ Ḥayyim
1:6], in explaining the mitzva to love God, writes: all that is beloved
to you, whether self, family, or anything else, must be null and void compared
to your love of God. The verse which presents the mitzva of loving God is:
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And you shall love the Lord your
God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might (me’odecha). Deuteronomy 6:5
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Aruch
haShulḥan suggests
that “me’odecha” is derived from the word “me’od” (much) and
translates the verse: Your love of God must be greater than anything which you
love greatly.”
Indeed,
Jacob reached this lofty level of loving God. Thus, Midrash Sifrei states that
“‘with all your might (me’odecha)’ refers to Jacob.”
I
believe that there is no escape from the words of Midrash Rabba:
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The Sages of the south, quoting
Rabbi Alexandri say: The Holy One, blessed be He, said to Jacob: “this is how
you respond to a woman in distress? By your life, her son will stand before
your sons and use the same words which you used: ‘Am I in God’s stead’.”
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The
clear meaning of the Midrash is that Jacob’s response was not justified.
At
first glance, the Midrash seems to say that Jacob will be punished
“measure for measure” (mida k’neged mida).
In
my opinion, the Midrash is teaching us something vastly different: Joseph’s use
of the phrase “Am I in God’s stead” is not at all repayment for Jacob’s use of
those words in anger. Joseph uses the words to allay his brothers’ fears that
he will take revenge for their having sold him into slavery [Genesis 50:19]. Thus, when Joseph’s uses the same words
spoken in anger by Jacob to calm down his brothers, it is the correction of his
father’s mistake.
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